I really like my stuff. My physical belongings. I take time and put a lot of thought into what I keep and what I get rid of when organizing and downsizing (which I LOVE to do). So I was entirely surprised when I realized losing my favorite ring is not the worst thing in the world.
As I mentioned, I own 3 rings. Two cocktail rings and a small band style ring that was my mother’s wedding ring. The third, which I wore almost daily, is my favorite. It was not a traditional wedding ring in any sense of the word. It was a band with embedded triangular stones, alternating turquoise and a navy blue stone. It was simple, it was comfortable, and it was beautiful.
Originally, when I realized I had lost the ring, I shrugged. I lose this ring all the time. It always shows back up in a few hours, days, or even weeks. But this time I think it’s gone for good. When I thought about that today, I didn’t cry. I didn’t even get upset. I just thought about how cool it was to wear the same ring for years before it leaves my life. I know, it sounds cheesy. The ring is not a person. But it did mean a lot to me.
Now there are very few things I have lost right after getting them. I did have an awesome pair of sunglasses that were broken by a toddler the next day. That sucked. But at that early stage of attachment , it was not a big loss (not even monetarily, they cost me $5-$10). But I can imagine losing something newish (weeks old), and that would be more difficult to deal with emotionally.
But here is what I want you to try: Love your belongings, really love them. Spend time choosing them, and take care of them. But also realize that they are things. Clothes are there to keep you warm or make you look stylish. Rings are there (in my case) to remind you of your family or make you look stylish. Couches are for seating, tables are for eating, houses are for protecting you from the elements (and making you look stylish). Take them all away (hopefully not at once), and what are you left with? A slightly less stylish individual , standing naked, exposed to the elements. That person can go get new clothes, find a place to stay, and work their way back to feeling good about how they look (the stylish stuff). Everything you own, and I mean EVERYTHING (even your garbage can, if you picked it) is just a reflection of you. Take away the stuff, and you are still you.
So separate yourself (just the tiniest bit) from your belongings, and you will find when you lose them, it will be that much easier to move on. This doesn’t mean I won’t miss my ring. I miss it right now. But I can move on, sans meltdown.
(Some funny videos on people being too attached to stuff and losing stuff by George Carlin)